I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
