U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i was born a porn star she said
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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