Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
