A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
