Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
