I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
