I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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