Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
