Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
