Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
