smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I don't deserve a penis
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
