well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
