We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
