its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
