i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
So many bounce houses so little time
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
