make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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