The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
