Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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