these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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