First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
