i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
