He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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