help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
is that a dick in a sweater?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
