living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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