my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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