Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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