I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
And my parents said I crawled through the house
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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