You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
