420 ftw
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
