I can tuck mytits in my pants
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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