Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
