Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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