she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
