i would punch a child for taco bell
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
