The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
