Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I need to sanitize my soul.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
