i think i have herpe
just one?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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