You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
