just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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