I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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