Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
