I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
