Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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