My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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