So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
