So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
