mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
