hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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