we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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