My hand turned me down
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
